I Knows...I Knows...

LFJ here again. A rather sad and confused LFJ. We still don't know where the Snizz is, nor do we have any idea where he might be. I miss him. I miss him bad, ya'll's. But the Snizz Nation, whoms I loves, has heard the album and they loves it. Read the comments...it's a hit. Even BCS is a little in awe, you can tell. So, yea, just a quick message to say no word yet.

I'm so down, ya'll's. I needs me a pick me up.
LFJ

SPECIAL: A Note From Walshington IC

Dear Snizz Nation:

As you are by now aware, for the last several weeks tensions have been high between the Snizz and his arch-nemesis, the Blind Cave Salamander. Well, in the early morning hours of January 4, 2006, events came to a head. Please bare with me as I attempt to recount the details related to me by the Propaganda.

The Snizz was a few hours into his thirteenth straight day without sleep; the beats that kept him going were the phatest. At approximately 3:45 AM, Bleachy entered the studio, having just procured a quintuple cheeseburger from a late-night Wendy's. He entered the booth, where Dr. Beats and Lightning Fuck Jones were readying the next hardcore track for the Snizz to get freaky-styley over. Bleachy whispered to LFJ that he had just seen a certain black sedan, license plates reading BCS, drive past the Compound. Unfortunately, Bleachy had no way of knowing that the monitor was turned on, and the Snizz, inside the soundproof studio, heard every word.

The Snizz demanded to speak with the driver of the automobile, and instructed Bleachy to exit the Compound and stop the car. LFJ and Dr. Beats, alarmed by this development, attempted to prevent the Snizz from exiting the building by tempting him with certain phat beats which had been laid down for this specific possibility. Alas, the lack of sleep, as well as the non-stop wonderfunking, had bolstered the Snizz's immunity and the beats proved fruitless. Unable to keep their leader in the studio, LFJ and Dr. Beats, accompanied by Ronnie Battles (who up until this point had been in the crapper) followed the Snizz out onto the street.

Accounts of what happened next vary. According to LFJ, Bleachy had stopped the black sedan by sitting on its trunk, causing several hundred dollars' worth of damage to the frame. According to Dr. Beats, the car's stereo was pumping out "evil, evil beats." Later, he would grudgingly admit that they were "kinda phat."

When the Snizz appeared, all hell broke loose. The tinted windows of the sedan lowered, and the barrels began firing their supersonic nuggets of death. The Snizz and Ronnie Battles, both being strapped, pulled their gats and proceeded to bust caps.

The next thing anybody knew, the sedan peeled out and sped away, riddled with bullet holes. Bleachy sat sobbing in the middle of the street. Ronnie Battles received a superficial wound to his left thigh. Dr. Beats and LFJ were dazed, but otherwise unharmed.

As for the Snizz ...

People of the Snizz Nation, I do not know how best to convey the following news to you, but I think the best would be to proceed with the narration in chronological order as best as I can.

After the sedan disappeared into the early morning darkness, the Propaganda looked to their leader to make sure he was unharmed ... but he was not there. The main door of the studio was covered with blood and bullet holes, but the Snizz himself was nowhere to be found. LFJ then tried to enter the studio, as the trail of blood seemed to indicate that the Snizz had retreated inside. He found the door locked.

This is where I, Walshington, I.C., enter the story. LFJ called me from his cell phone, as the Snizz and I are the only two people with keys to the Compound. He quickly filled me in on the situation, and I informed him that I would be there as soon as I finished loving my lady. Five hours later, I rode my pimpmobile up North Avenue and arrived at the headquarters of all things Snizz.

Did you ever see that movie "Event Horizon"? With the haunted spaceship? Lawrence Fishburne is one bad mutha. You remember how the bridge of the spaceship had all that blood and gore smeared all over the walls?

Naw, it wasn't really like that, but it was still pretty nasty. There was ... a lot ... of blood.

But no Snizz.

Brothers and Sisters of the Snizz Nation, it is my duty to inform you that we have lost our beloved Snizz. We do not know where he is, but we fear the worst.

I can tell you one other thing. At some time between the shootout and my arrival with the second set of keys, the Snizz produced a miracle. When I entered the studio with the Propaganda, I found, resting atop the mixing board, unadulterated by the gore that befouled the rest of the room, the complete master copy of Untouchable: Seriously Now.

That's right. The Snizz's final gift to us. The phattest beats he has ever laid down, combined with the dopest melodies, the freshest lyrics. We listened to the album in its entirety, and wept.

Oh, and then we called the police, 'cause damn. Somebody gotta clean this shit up.

Brothers and sisters, I ask you: Do not dispair. Untouchable: Seriously Now will be available to you any day now, and you can request your very own copy by writing to walshington_ic@hotmail.com.

As for the Snizz, well, we may never know the truth. I, for one, choose to believe he is still out there somewhere. Sometimes, in the quietest part of the darkest night, I think I hear him, laying down phat, phat beats.

Come back, Snizz! Come back!!!

Thanks to all you bitches.

ALERT!

Snizz Nation, there are reports of a horrific event at the Snizz Compound. There are no details as of yet...LFJ called me this morning at four...from what I can tell, the final mixing was being done on Untouchable: Seriously Now when a black sedan (the one that splashed me so disrespectfully weeks ago) stopped outside of the compound...The Snizz, secluded for months in his recording booth, stepped outside for the first time to confront the person or persons in the sedan...there might have been shots fired, however this report has yet to be confirmed...I am on my way now to the compound (I would have gone sooner but I had to finish loving my lady).

Please stand by for further reports...

-Walshington I.C.

A Very Special Snizz Comment

From the offices of Walshington I.C.

What up, bitches? First off, let me give a shout out to LFJ for keepin' us all informed about the current Snizz Sizzituation. I have just returned from the East Coast, where one of the other acts I manage (Mudbutt) just completed a tour opening for Donkey Punch and Tubscum. It was the shit.

I have at last spoken to our beloved Snizz, but since I am his (unlicensed) legal advisor I cannot disclose all of what we discussed. I may be able to reveal a little more after I look up a few of the terms that came up, like "next of kin."

Anyway, I must say that I have never seen a man in such a fury of creative intensity. A light glows from behind his eyes, which glare not with sanity, but with a madness that might be called divine. The Snizz guards his new work jealously, however, so I am not yet able to make any comment on the upcoming album--except to say you put your requests in now at walshington_ic@hotmail.com.

Oh, and also, when I left the studio at 3 in the AM this morning, a black sedan splashed dirty snow all over my Bruno Maglis.

Bitches.

It Truly Is Da Bomb

W.I.C. is correct...this album will be nothing short of snizztacular. I won't say too much but I will say this: a track called "Don't Try To Get Down If You Can't Get It Up" might be even phatter than Velvet Snizz.

Sadly, the prolific force that the Snizz has become has caused hiz snizzness to leave his senses a bit. The lack of food, water, and sleep is playing with his mind somewhat and he is insisting the new album include snippets of strange rambling lyrics over simple piano tracks. Odd, yet interesting and forever genius.

And Where Is The Cave Man?...

Yes, BCS, where are you? You, the one who created this strange and yet beautiful artistic explosion. And can you answer for the mysterious phone calls received at the studio? And what of the Black Sedan? And what of the shadowy figures running from the overpass and Snizz'z Secret Compound? BCS, where are you? BCS, where are you?

Hold on tight Snizznation. He will resurface soon, I'm sure of it. And this album will be done by New Years. I'd bet my turn table on it.

May Snizz Bless You All,
LFJ

A Very Special Snizz Update

The Snizz, the great and magical Snizz, has begun letting members of the Propaganda in to see him and to record with him. I have to say, this album, Untouchable: Seriously Now, is going to be nothing short of amazing. The tracks I've heard are very dramatic and flow like you wouldn't believe.

But the Snizz still will not eat. And he still will not sleep. And we can no longer tell how many tracks he's spun out, because he has started scrapping the ones he wasn't absolutely sure about. Several nomads from far off lands have come to hold a vigil out side of the studio (a few of them believing him to be the Buddha) and a strong thank you goes out to CDC for holding a vigil in front of Kahid's this coming Friday.

The Snizz seems to be living only on music and phat beats. When the album is done...well, I'm afraid to think what might happen.

Meanwhile, we have noticed a black car slowly passing by the secret studio once a night. Bleachy was able to make out the plate on the car and it seemed to read "BCS 69".

That car has made us all uncomfortable and we have not yet told the Snizz about it. More info to come on that when it's available.

Well, Snizz Nation, that's the update. I can't wait for the album to be made so that we might get some nourishment in him, but like I say, it seems to be the only thing keeping him alive. I can tell you this...the Snizz was hinting that the album might be ready on the first of January. He hopes to release the album, with the help of his promoter Walshington I.C., at a New Years Party. My Dear Gawd In Heaven, I hope this is true.

Good Night Snizz Nation, and may your dreams be filled with Snizz,
LFJ

A Very Special Weekly Snap

Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself, I am Lightening Fuck Jones, loyal member of the Propaganda. I regret to inform you of some sad news. The Snizz has locked himself in the recording studio and, at last count, has laid down over 900 tracks. He is refusing food and water and does not appear to be sleeping.

It seems as though the introduction of a Nemesis has gotten into his mind deeper than anyone thought possible. He is determined to produce a new album that no other album can touch. The title of that album is rumored to be Untouchable: Seriously Now.

Snizz Nation, I ask that you leave your thoughts and prayers with The Snizz in hopes that he can produce an album that, at the very least, is up to his standards.

I'm not very good at this. As I have written this, I have broken down into tears several times. I'm a DJ, not a writer. A spin doctor. A beat layer. A musical soulfuck, but I am not writer. Only a loyal friend, a concerned phan, and a dreamer.

Dream with me, Snizz Nation.

Dream with me.

-LFJ

And Then There Were Two...

Rain.
A dark and bitter rain.
Wind.
Strong. And getting biznizzy against my windows.
From deep in the dark mountains rose a cry.
A need.
A force so evil and un-snizzlike, chills swept through the lands.
Narry a beat nor a snap could be heard in the chilling noise.
This was a dark music.
An evil music.
It was muzik.

The source?

A blind beast.
A slimy, blind beast.

His name?

Blind Cave Salamander

...and thus, a nemesis was born unto our world.
Our Snizz World.
Where the Propaganda sleeps!
Where my Bleachy plays with his toys.

We welcome you, BCS.

But know this...
my backpack has jets.

It's on.

It's on.

-the Snizz
(and don't none of ya'll's forget)